The idea of marriage returning to its true nature by having all restrictions removed may seem a bit odd at first. After all, most people are raised in traditions that treat such things as same-sex relationships as unnatural, while claiming that it is human nature to be monogamous. Fortunately, the shortsighted nature of these claims is finally coming to light.
In order to understand just how misguided these beliefs are it is necessary to contemplate what is meant by ‘human nature’, or nature of any kind for that matter. When someone acts on their nature they follow inherent drives and impulses, usually removed from any thought process or instruction. This means that you feel your way rather than think your way through a situation when you act on nature. That said, any drive or impulse must necessarily be ‘nature’ as it comes from within the individual, not from external influences such as cultural or religious traditions.
This is where the image of the dam holding back the river can prove useful once again. The river is the natural force, being restricted by the dam. If same-sex relationships weren’t a part of human nature, the waters wouldn’t be there, and thus the dam wouldn’t be needed. After all, what is the point of restrictions if there isn’t a drive to perform the behavior those restrictions are designed to prohibit? Therefore, the very existence of restrictions is proof itself that same-sex relationships are very much a part of human nature.
The very same argument can be made in the case of non-monogamy. That a restriction needs to be put in place to ensure that marriages are only between two people is proof positive that monogamy is in fact not inherently natural. If it were, no such restriction would be needed. All you have to do is look at the species that are monogamous by nature to see what that condition actually looks like. Any animal that is naturally monogamous will simply stop looking for a mate once they have found one. Just as a bird will only build one nest, so too, monogamous animals only pursue one mate. In short, one and done .
In contrast, animals that are non-monogamous by nature will continue to pursue other relationships even after finding a permanent mate of sorts. Sound familiar? All you have to do is research the statistics to see how many marriages fail as a result of infidelity. If it were human nature to be monogamous, then up to half of all divorces wouldn’t occur, as infidelity wouldn’t be an issue. Yet they do, which only serves to prove that the notion of what is human nature and what is not is misguided at best, and downright misleading at worst.
There is another direction to approach this argument by, and it is my favorite direction by far. Let’s set aside whether or not same-sex relationships are natural, or whether or not humans are monogamous by nature. Instead, let’s focus on another factor which puts this into a whole New perspective.
While there are many things that separate mankind from the rest of the species in nature, the one that separates us most from all other animals is largely overlooked─ namely, the element of diversity . If you look at any other species, you see that they are instinctively locked into a particular set of behaviors. For example, birds are locked into the behaviors of living in nests and procreating by the laying and fertilizing of eggs. Furthermore, their dietary habits are non-negotiable, even to the point where the shape of their beak is such that it only allows them to eat certain foods. Every other species follows this pattern, where the specifics of food, shelter and procreation are absolute. This, however, is not true of our own species.
Humanity, by contrast, has the inherent ability to choose such things as what they eat, how they have children and even where they live. While some choose to live in large cities, similar to large colonies of ants or bees, others choose to live in smaller, more isolated environments, reflecting birds, lions, or the like. Needless to say, this isn’t an academic discourse on wildlife or anthropology, but you get the idea.
The same holds true for having children. Although many choose the traditional method of having sex, many others choose other methods, such as artificial insemination, or even adoption. While every other species is restricted to one option, humanity has every option available that can be found within nature. This is also true of our dietary practices, which are largely carnivorous despite the fact that we are designed for a plant-based diet, as is evidenced by the shape of our teeth and the size of our digestive tract.
Therefore, it’s not a matter of it being human nature to have a heterosexual or same-sex relationship, nor is it a matter of it being human nature to have one partner or multiple partners. Instead, it is human nature to have the right to choose which path to follow. I am not saying you get to choose your sexual orientation, or any drive that you feel, rather you should get to choose how you pursue those drives, thereby being free to create the life that is right for you. Thus, any restrictions that inhibit this freedom of choice are the real threats to human nature, not the drives they seek to contain.
As the evolution from the Old Paradigm to the New Paradigm continues to unfold, the face of relationships will continue to change in the process. This isn’t to say that in thirty years everyone will have two wives and a husband. Just because interracial marriage became legalized, it didn’t mean everyone went out and found a spouse from a different ethnic background. Nor will everyone look to marry a same-sex partner just because it’s legal to do so. After all, it’s legal to eat cauliflower, but not everyone does it.
It simply comes down to a matter of what is right for the individual. Being free to pursue your ideal life is the nature of the New Paradigm. Control-driven values will give way to compassion-driven values, thus liberating everyone from the needless, senseless restrictions that have kept people from being free to express love in the way that their nature inspires them to. And the one thing that will be evidenced is that human nature is not limited to one choice. Instead, it is human nature to realize the full spectrum of potential in every aspect of the human condition.